How To Pack Ten Days In One Bag

The first three days should be laid in flat. They will wear better that way and will come out in mornings without wrinkles or memory loss.

The fourth and fifth days should be folded in half lengthwise, breakfast-to-dinner, and stacked. This will keep them reasonably fresh in the afternoons, although you may experience odd pancake cravings in the evening.

Crumple the sixth day into a tight ball and stuff it into the bottom corner of the bag. You will spend this day in bed with a hangover, so you want it to be as small as possible.

Wash the seventh day in hot water with bleach or bleach substitute or bleach substitute replacement. Try to leach all the color out of it, and then wrap it around the other days like a narrative. You do not speak the language, and you will never see her again anyway.

Stuff the ninth day into the eighth day and cram them into the side of the bag, which is the only empty space left. Museums and concerts and botanical gardens will spill out the sides. Do not tidy them up; you'll only have to explain them to the airport staff when you go through security.

Do not pack the tenth day at all. Wear it home. It won't be as clean as you remember, and the scent may linger. But this is what you were trying to save, right?

-- May 24, 2010.

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