She went down last November on a reef called Ripper's Rock
The skipper he was blasted on the brandy from the stock
We'd loaded her with cargo so the decks could scarce be seen
And thus we lost the lovely Athens Queen.
Yes, we sure did have insurance on that rusty leaky scow
We'd filed the flippin' paperwork on the chickens and the cow
We got back all our money on the brandy lost at sea
But someone stole my flippin' couch of green!
Couch of green! Couch of green!
Though your soup it be chicken and your tea be full of cream
No matter how damn drunk you are, you lick your tumbler clean
Drinking brandy on my lovely couch of green!
I knew that my beloved couch could not have gone that far
I set out to investigating every joint and bar
Where salvagers might gather to swap tales and buy a round
And brag about the furniture they'd found.
I got a tip down by the wharf, a stinkin' flotsam crew
Some sots named Smith and Reedy, and their buddy Rogers too
I'd have to booze it up with them, because their thirst was keen
Then ask them where my sofa might have been.
Couch of green! Couch of green!
Though your soup it be chicken and your tea be full of cream
No matter how damn drunk you are, you lick your tumbler clean
Drinking brandy on my lovely couch of green!
Well I drank with them all winter, some nights around the clock
'Til bitter bloodshot dawn would find me puking off the dock
And those lying smiling jerks who go and pillage boats that sink
They laughed at me and poured another drink.
But you to whom adversity has kicked you in the shin
And stole your favorite Barcalounger just to rub it in
Get your ass down to IKEA where the meatballs can be seen
And buy yourself another couch of green!
Couch of green! Couch of green!
Though your soup it be chicken and your tea be full of cream
No matter how damn drunk you are, you lick your tumbler clean
Drinking brandy on my lovely couch of green!
-- Stan Rogers (piecewise)
-- January 31, 2021 (updated Nov 17, 2025)
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